New Barack Obama Condom By Trojan

Church & Dwight Company, Inc.—the makers of Trojan brand condoms—has rolled out a brand new condom. The company is calling it the Barack Obama condom.The company states Trojan is America’s #1 condom and has been trusted for 90 years. They also note that that they currently have 29 varieties of condoms, and that this 30th variety is “more durable than any other type of condom manufactured to date.”Chairman and Chief Executive Officer James R. Craigie told Elective Decisions that the condom had been in testing for six months, and that “it was the toughest condom he’d ever seen.”

“This is going to be a real seller,” added Craigie. “We stretched it, filled it with air, and beat it with hammers, and it never broke. Its toughness is key, because it will keep a lot of Obama voters out of paternity suits. That’s good stuff!”Church & Dwight also mentions that the Barack Obama condom will insure that Trojan condoms will be in drug stores another 90 years. They’ve even come up with a couple of slogans to spearhead their marketing campaign: “Nothing sticks to a Barack Obama condom,” and “If it’s good enough for Obama, then it’s definitely good enough for you.”

“This condom will be the tip of the spear,” added Craigie. “It is a cross between the Trojan ENZ and the Her Pleasure types of condoms. I like to think of it as a Your Pleasure condom. With this condom, you can throw all responsibility out the window. It’s great for liberals. You’re in. You’re out. No complicated problems. Nothing can penetrate the Barack Obama condom, nor will anything stick to it. It’s the perfect condom made in the image of the perfect man.”