Farmer Wants a Wife (Matt Neustadt): Season Finale Recap

For the past seven episodes of Farmer Wants a Wife, we've watched as Farmer Matt Neustadt narrowed down his list of potential spouses. It's obvious that Matt needs a woman who is a bingo champion, a knitting queen, a mean apple pie baker and great at racing a tractor. She also has to be able to spot a pregnant cow with just one swift punch to its rectum. This is a rare combination of qualities that could never be found outside the world of reality television. Last week Matt eliminated both Amanda and Kanisha from the competition, leaving only two ladies to fight for his affections. Which one will win the farmer's heart?

On tonight's season finale, Matt takes each of the girls on a private date, then calls a town meeting to announce which lucky lady gets to look forward to a life of sheep shearing and pig wrangling.Though I'm going to miss Farmer Wants a Wife with all my heart, it's the opening credit sequence that I truly hate to say goodbye to. Instead of having the poor man's version of The Cheetah Girls sing the theme song like they do every week, I wish the CW had recruited the Vienna Boys' Choir to warble a slow, sad version of the booty-busting tune for the finale.